Plan B is the new Plan A
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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