Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
