um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
