The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
