And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
