You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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