so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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