At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
