dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You can't special order awesome
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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