I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
