Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
She said her name was "party"
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Randomize
