OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
