I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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