gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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