Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
