do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
