Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
