sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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