Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
