Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
