That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
