She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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