the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Randomize
