Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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