We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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