I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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