We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
