VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
