I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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