the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
