yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
