i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
