Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
