at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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