i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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