Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
