While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
