party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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