Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
