I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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