That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
