I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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