I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
NoShamevember. You game?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Randomize
