Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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