Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
