try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
