you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
