whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
We need to rekindle our bromance
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
