rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
