Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
